Hey Beautiful Unicorn!
I have never been good at lying. I always got caught in a web of creative stories as a kid and quickly found out that I wore my heart on my sleeve and wasn’t good at hiding my feelings.
I had no idea that I was hiding things from myself!
But apparently, sometimes we don’t listen to ourselves as much as we would like to admit. I thought I was doing everything right!
Read on for the full story!
There are tips at the end you can use right away.
A word before the LIE…
Waking up naturally and on time has always been a gift built into my DNA. I suppose I have a lineage of family members from times past that had to get up with such intensity that now it just happens for me. It’s simple. It’s automatic. I imagine my ancestors waking up to change their lives. Having responsibilities and exciting dreams to fulfill. (Well, that is my dream of them. I don’t know who they were, really.) I am actually in the process of getting assistance for putting my family tree together. I’ll be getting a DNA test to find out as much as possible about the people who gave me life, gave me gifts, and led me to you. The chain of events in life is mind-blowing to me, and I think about it often.
The random events and the deliberate situations that resulted in my reality as I write this out–wow! It all happened before anyone I know was even alive. We all stem from an ancient chain of events and with one small mistake and another success…we came to be here for our short stay.
I have to tell you the truth to start off with…before I tell you how I lied to the Universe. The truth is, right now I realize that without all the disappointments or failures I would not be here talking to you today. Every single failure on my part has been another idea that didn’t work, which means I am testing and evolving as a person and a company. Without failure, I would not know change. Without change, I will never know success. The more results I get the better I understand me and what does work. This is such a simple concept that only took a few sentences to write, which is kind of disappointing for me considering it took me up until NOW to make it part of my life.
Now my story about how I lied to the Universe:
That day was so amazing! It was the one when I had it “up to HERE” with the standard and predictable way I had tolerated mediocre. I looked around and felt entirely disgusted and with my eyes wide open, I made some drastic changes. The first change was to start manifesting a life I dreamed about. That would begin with restructuring my business and making the money I deserved. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it?! It was.
I was so fucking high vibe and ready to conquer the world and had no time to spare! I wanted it all! I wanted to “eat the whole cake” as they say. So, I made a pact with myself to think positively about my money mindset so I would manifest a regular income that matched my plans. I began to think positively and tell the universe my plans, strategy and all about the money that I was gladly inviting into my life. I told her that I was ready to receive. Yep…here I am, ready to receive…hello? Universe…are you there?! I am so ready to receive and accept my new life. Here I am! Hello? Nothing…not a peep. She didn’t say a word. I didn’t feel anything. (I wanted to believe I felt something!)
I kept trying to stay positive and think about my old paradigms around
what I deserved and began meditating and all that jazz.
Although my biz did make some great changes, if I asked myself at any point if I was satisfied and felt that I was where I thought I’d be from the day I made the awesome claim to live the life of my dreams, I’d politely tell myself no. It felt horrible and although I was being my rock and roll unicorn self on the outside and kind of on the inside, too…it wasn’t what I expected! I was working so hard and it was not weighing out. I couldn’t understand it. I was even asking for help and felt I was doing all the right moves. It was odd and deep deep down in my truth I was feeling defeated. That secret seed of defeat fed the lies I didn’t realize I was telling.
You see, I learned from an amazing friend that the universe only understands energy. Because of this when I thought I was truly asking to receive through conscious meditations and daily journaling…in the background, I was sending out my panic message and the clear message that I was feeling defeated. So the universe gave more of that. She gave me more and more of what I was truly asking for. It was hard to realize this because it felt as if I did so much work for nothing. Like so much time had wasted. I felt defeated about being defeated…and so it got even worse.
And then I pulled that little lie by its roots out of the virtual garden of dreams and future energy. How’d I do that you ask? Here are some solutions that helped me get over my money story filled with lack and get comfortable with being uncomfortable. (If you missed last weeks blog on The Fear of Being Visible Online, check that out too!) I had to change my energy patterns and that is not easy. I still sometimes find myself calling old energy up that I haven’t fully cleared. But as I accepted the challenge of knowing I had been lying I quickly started seeing the changes I longed to see since the beginning.
I allowed myself to be upset or depressed about it but as soon as these emotions surfaced I trained my brain to signal a time limit. It started off longer and got shorter and shorter and easier to initiate. Time limits for emotional breakdowns are like goals, and we all need goals to create structure in our lives.
I faced my problems head on by finding out everything I could about them. For me, my debt was killing me and my learned response was to hide from it. So I didn’t know much about it except that I constantly told myself that I would never pay it off and was in a mess. Instead, I found out everything, got a lawyer, and began finding the solutions that everyone agreed upon. Clarity in my money story was KEY! Without the whole story, real financial figures and a plan, I would be nowhere today. It is important to fight your demons with knowledge. It is liberating!
Every day I told myself that I mattered and my voice was important for people to hear. Our brain is like your laptop computer but much more advanced. It easily holds onto fear and messages. Send the right messages and “program” your brain to think the way you wish you could. It literally is that easy.
It just takes a while!
Start journaling about your money story. This is so important because you will discover through writing how a lot of your thought patterns were fed to you as a child. What do your mom and dad think about money? What do they think about you and money? A lot of our “stories” are not really ours, we decided to own them. You can own another story script! Write your own story and stick to the script, woman!
Accept your problems and look at them as a scientist would. Step away and look down on yourself and start experimenting! Yep! I do this all the time. I become the “3rd party” scientist failing and succeeding in all areas of my life. If you’re failing it is okay as long as you keep experimenting. You cannot get to the solutions if you are standing still. Keep moving that brain of yours. I used to take everything so personally but this creative “scientist” method has made it easier.
Get pissed! (Not drunk if you’re from England! LOL!) But seriously, get mad and feel the passion. I did. Anger is totally okay when used correctly. It can be very passionate and give you the energy to move forward when it feels like no one has your back.
Know that we have your back. I often felt alone. And that is because I was. I turned down help and hid all my emotions from EVERYONE. How can we help you if you keep acting like everything’s okay and you don’t need us?!
When you feel yourself sinking into the old scripts about how worried you are about the bills and the kids and the business and your love life, etc…use that as your big Marilyn Monroe movie cue! Lights, camera, ACTION! I often put my emotions on stage. Getting creative with my mindset has been the biggest key to opening the doors to success. And Marilyn is definitely used all the time for personal achievement. When I feel those icky feelings creeping into my mind and words, it is a cue for my brain to become something more. To start the show, have fun and get to work. A lot of times this starts by wiping my tears and putting on my favorite red lipstick.
ASK FOR HELP – Have the courage to ask for help but don’t play this as a game. Ask for help from people who will hold you accountable for solutions. It is important that your closest friends and business besties have the ability to say, “What the hell is going on with you and let’s fix this!” The truth can hurt but it can also be an alarm to get you out of that track you keep running.
Color outside of the lines. Be okay with taking another route or path. Shake things up by creating new routines.
Literally, shake your body! I shake my hand, arms, and belly a lot. It feels good and was taught to me by a good friend. (Therese Tucker of Spirit 4 Success!) She told me that it clears the old energy out. And that is exactly what it feels like! So get up right fucking now and take your belly (big or small) in both hands and shake it out. Laugh if you want! That is even better. Then shake out your hands and arms. It’s fun and resets my energy patterns in my body instantly. I love it. One of my favorite tricks!
Finally, listen to YOU. I found that I already know all the answers and know the things I need and want to do. It is my mindset and old stories floating in my heart that kept me from making the leaps. Really listen to yourself and ask what you want today and for the rest of your life. Then, stop acting like it is impossible! It is not. Everything you want is attainable if you decide to take inspired action.
Watch my personal and honest talk about all of this by clicking below!
Enjoy and let me know your comments!
PS. Stop asking others what they think about you, your biz and anything else. Make all the decisions yourself. It is not up to them anymore to make decisions for your life. Your achievements and failures must be credited to you and you alone. For this is when you will feel the shift and life will blossom like a purple orchid in the sunrise of your morning.