That moment when your prompted, “Would you like to pay the balance?” And you can say YES! This is happening in my world FINALLY. This morning I said yes and it felt so damn good!!! It’s been such a long time since I’ve been able to feel like my head is above water. Because I was in an ocean of self-pity, tears, confusion, doubt, crisis and embarrassment over my debt.
My debt is school loans that I was deceived with. Yes I owe money but not THAT MUCH! I’ll slowly be revealing this story to all of you. Why? Because it’s happening and I can’t be the only one. Because even successful people have financial crisis and I’m sick of hiding behind all of this. It only validates THEM. Because the more I stash all this away I didn’t give it a chance to live and change.
I’ve learned that when you have shame over something and lock it away you’re virtually stopping time and space for that one thing. Nothing can change if you don’t let it live and breathe. I was forced to face this monster and I can tell you it almost destroyed me this year. Some of you had my back during this rumble in the jungle! I couldn’t have done it alone. Thank you for this gift. It was scary and I cried a lot over it.
But now I’m on the other side of it all. And it only took a few months! This monster while hidden never changed for 6 years!!!! Total proof that letting your fears out to walk around is very important. Please evaluate what’s locked inside you. It’s okay to be scared. I was too.