With all of the material out there in the world that is easily accessible, I would think everyone should be successful in every area of their life. Why wouldn’t we be? Real life stories, music, books, and people sharing their “secrets” both free and for purchase. The promise of wealth and abundance available in so many ways I’ve lost count.
Great! But wait, most days we still feel so imperfect and not fully living our dreams even with all of the successful answers out there and at our fingertips. But why?! I will tell you but if you get angry or cry that’s on you. Lol! The reason why is because it relies on you to allow for the good fortune to show up through your insights and your *own* experiences. (It’s like when you fill out a personality test and answer all the questions with responses you think they want to hear instead of being blatantly honest.)
As a teacher, I understand the importance and love of supporting people. I also know and feel when someone is still in that place of being stuck. I used to be there too. I was there with what felt like an entire lifetime. For a long period, I said and did everything I could to get out, I believed with all my being that I was telling everyone and the universe that I was ready for more! But with little results, I gave up so many times in myself and blamed extenuating circumstances and people. Things were always out of my control.
When I look back at all the people and things that were stopping me from creating a life I could be grateful for, I see the problem clear as day. While I sat there and thought about all that was going wrong in my life l notice the energy I filled my being with. It was negative and sad energy. I was exhausted mentally and physically. As I complained about schools ripping me off, disappointing people, health problems, and all the hell *they* were causing me, I became my own victim. At the time I even acknowledged that I was part of the problem somehow. I’ve always been very aware that I am at fault even when it feels like it’s out of my control. I do understand all point of views, even the ones I disagree with. Which made it difficult to recognize some of my negative patterns.
I was so in my head every day that all I did was go to every negative thing in my life 24/7 trying to find the clue as to how I can stop it all. My brain wanted to examine and pull apart those memories because it thought that there was something hidden and that I could figure it all out and find my purpose in life while doing it. I taught my beautiful brain to do this really negative thing and at some point, it went on autopilot and was ruining my life.
The constant thoughts and energy put forth to this activity every time something went haywire was my downfall. I lived most of my life this way. Even after years of training myself with new positive habits and perspectives, I feel guilty. The pitiful feelings bubbling up writing this are STILL there because I remember *her* so well. (Her being me of course!) How could she do all those things? She was so abusive and self-destructive. I feel sorrow for her even now.
I know someone reading this is in that place. You are not alone and no matter how bad your circumstances are, there is a way to fly out of it all. And those answers you’re searching for endlessly are inside you darling. I know you said you’ve looked already but they’re there right in front of you! Ever lose your keys forever and then reach into a pocket you’ve searched twice only to find them there?! It’s like that.
Learn to recognize your patterns so that when you feel like, “I’m so depressed for the millionth time! I have terrible luck and I’ll be miserable forever.” Well, if that’s the millionth time you’ve felt a certain way or experienced something that you don’t like, chances are you’ve turned this into a role that you play that gets triggered by __________. (You fill in the blank)
Your solution? Do something different ASAP. Sounds simple but it never is easy. And I don’t give a shit if you’re blubbering all over the place with puffy eyes and hair in a two day old Netflix bun, go do something totally different. My preference lately has been dancing. And if you know me, dancing isn’t my thing. Ha! Lately, when a pattern rises up through the darkness I dance wherever I want and I look a bit crazy but I don’t care what people think anymore. I don’t have time for that kind of nonsense and I want you to feel that way too! It’s fun and empowering!
It’s taken my whole life to develop and precisely create my worst habits. (You too!) They really are works of art when I think about it. So perfectly wrong though!
Go deep inside and design your rules and new positive patterns on your terms. Decide to change no matter how hard it is, how much it hurts, and how many times you fail. I fail constantly…it’s human and there are tons of rewards I’ve gotten out of it. Failure is progress if you keep going and take away something you can use even if it’s not the result you hoped for.
Be forewarned that people in your life will probably not enjoy the new you experience either. They’ll have to learn and take the time to understand your new attitude and way of decision making. Transitioning is difficult because you will fail even more and *they* will all notice. They’re used to who you are now and that’s their comfort level. That’s why so many entrepreneurs lack full support from the people they want it from the most. This is when you must talk with people who will support you. If you need more support on this one, consider reading a great article I wrote about loved ones not supporting your business on how common it truly is: https://www.redunicornmedia.com/when-your-loved-ones-dont-support-your-business/
Choose to live your life in a way that feels so right for you. It’s not anyone’s responsibility or right to write your story. But if you let them, they certainly will. People love power. Keep yours strong by holding onto it and commanding it. And most of all, be patient and love yourself damn it!
Time to create and be responsible for your success by putting to bed those old patterns and stories that do not serve you any longer!
Founder of Red Unicorn Media & Creator of VisibilityYOU “Create the Buzz!” Academy